Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Honorary reigning champion

August 20, 2008

Jarvis Cocker, unlicensed UK driver


Status Hiatus

August 20, 2008

On behalf of all the dudes, I would like to express our perplexity at the “penises (flaccid)” theme.  Abiding by the “write what you know” axiom, none of us wrote anything.  Color us stumped.

Consensus is that dudesdudesdudes will continue our now-official hiatus until Sept 1, when we will convene an assembly to discuss rules of procedure and propriety for the fall season.  Tune in then for more photoshop fun, denigration of millenia-old Andean cutural garb, and special  guest stars!


August 9, 2008

As we wait for those songs about penises (flaccid) to pour in, let’s take a minute to congratulate this week’s winner:

Sexface is the Bestface

Sexface is the Bestface

Good job, bromide. Listening to all that New Order is really paying dividends. Dividends of shreddage. I can’t wait to hear your next song, which I’m sure will feature a pipe organ you had to sneak into a church to record, or a choir of small confused children, mixed down on your Blackberry.

Speaking of which, the next challenge topic is THE UK DRIVING TEST. Should be easy enough.

Stay American,

Defending the crown

July 28, 2008

I gotta say, I kind of thought the other two songs were better than mine last week, so I’m not sure I deserved such an honor.  But no worries, I definitely will this week… there’s no way your all’s new songs rock as hard as mine:

Last Legs

I was trying to collaborate on some backing piano or vocals or something, but I couldn’t get it together in time.  If it happens in the next couple days, I’ll put it up.  Til then, it’s exactly what I said I wouldn’t give you this week… one-track acoustic and vocals.  Punk rock.

Also This

July 27, 2008

Detachable Penis, yo.


July 26, 2008

Yeah, yeah, everybody wants to know. Well. Here you go, pals:

The spirit is strong.

The spirit is strong.

A job well done, Agrestive! I can’t help but wonder if all of this alleged “coming weak in the production game” isn’t a hustle of its own, kind of like how rappers pretend they can only sing off-key when it really just sounds better that way (re: “Hey Lady” by Cam’ron feat. Freekey Zekey and everything ever by Biz Markie). Anyway, enjoy the spoils of victory, for this week they are all yours.

I don’t know about you guys, but I can’t wait for the leg bruising songs to hit the blog. It seems like the dudes have found this challenge truly challenging. On Thursday I asked Space Stag how it was going, and instead of answering in a verbal way, he ripped his short shorts up the back to show me a really sweet leg bruise he had recently picked up. Then he ripped up the other side of his short shorts, I guess because symmetry is beautiful.

In any case, I think this next challenge topic will probably be a little less of a stretch for the dudes, because the topic is “penises: flaccid.” (Please note: I’m not making any kind of dig on anybody’s masculinity, but I’m pretty sure none of you all are sporting ragin’ boners 24-7. Unless you are, in which case, congratulations, and good luck with this week’s song.)


My song

July 13, 2008


I am coming a little weak production-wise this time (again.)  Next time I promise to roll out some tricks with some home recording software.  This week I downloaded some program Sexfizzy recommended, probably because he is a diabolical competitor, and I think it might have had a role in crashing my computer for about two days.  Now I’m resurrected, though, and I guarantee i will not do single track vocals & acoustic guitar forever.

This is by no means a caveat on the quality of the actual song (see my opinions on the punk rock aesthetic v. disco/wankery debate, whenever i get around to explaining them, or the patent wrongness of Sexfizzy’s and the Stag’s viewpoints.)  No, the abstract ideal of this song rules. Which is how it earned its Neoplatonist title:

City of God

New Songs/Old Things to Bitch About

July 12, 2008

First off: I would like to present to yall the contribution of our reigning champion, Space Stag. Dude is on his game right now. I reproduce here the email that he sent me–apparently dude’s internet connection is sketchy at the moment. I ask you to take my magnanimity in account while voting on your favorite song (DUDESDUDESDUDES AT GMAIL DOT COM):

Space Stag is hidden deep in the woods of Northern Virginia. He did,
however, manage to find an abandoned piano and baritone ukulele, which
he had access to for an hour (really). This is what came out of it. He
apologizes to God, mostly. But also to you, dear listeners.
Presenting, “Enactment of the Thousand Names of His Revelation,” with
a tip of the hat to Cat Stevens, the Animal Collective, and Pope
Benedict XVI.

Space Stag’s quest for Oberst’s left over groupie-tang continues.

Secondly: I submit to you my track, entitled “Praise Be Unto You, and Praise Be Unto Your Infinite Modes of Expression” While I know that I should at some point include some sort of self-deprecatory remark about the song’s quality and all that I will refrain–mostly because I have contracted some sort of mystery stomach ailment. As a result, my life for the last two days has consisted in watching 2 Fast 2 Furious and drinking milkshakes. I will tell you that this song includes: Mike Agresta’s man purse, Kim Cardashian, Making out with G-D and drums that are mixed way too loud.




July 12, 2008

Okay, it has been suggested by some that I de-mystify the topic selection process by documenting it more thoroughly. I’m down for that. This is how it works:

1. All of the suggested topics are written on slips of paper and placed into a hat. This is a literal hat. It is also, as appropriate to the ethos of Dudes Cubed, a pink beret.

The proverbial hat.

The proverbial hat.

2. I fish around in the hat and choose a slip of paper.
I think it is pretty obvious what\'s going on here.

I think it is pretty obvious what's going on here.

3. And then we have a topic. This week’s, to my delight, happens to be “leg bruising.”


I hope that clears some things up. Let me know if you have questions, about the process, about leg bruising, or about why my bangs look so messy.



July 11, 2008
The results of the first ever dudes dudes dudes contest.

The results of the first ever dudes dudes dudes contest.

It’s like that. Congratulations, Space Stag. But don’t get a big head, because voting was close.

Tomorrow: new, uplifting, nondenominational songs, plus the new subject. I will, as always, communicate with you mostly via photobooth pictures taken at Flightpath.