Archive for the ‘Amazing Shit’ Category

AAAARRGGHHHHHH SPEED POST!

July 28, 2008

HERE IS MY NEW SONG, TITLED “THE LOVESONG OF J. ALFRED SQUARESBERG”. CAN’T WRITE CLEVER INTRO, MUST GO DRINKING!

edit: So now that I am home and drinking (drunk) I will elaborate on this, my submission. 2 things that the astute listener may note: firstly, that I have broken my “no guitars” policy and secondly, that the lyrics are mushy and sort of girl-related. On the use of guitars, I blame New Order mostly. I have been listening to “Temptation” and “Ceremony” almost nonstop as of late and I have finally decided that guitars are not that horrible after all. This is also part of a broader sea-change that I am enacting in my own self in which I attempt to stop defining my tastes in the negative. Thus, crappy guitar riffage. Sorry. Secondly, with regards to the mush-headed nature of the lyrics, I blame myself and Stag equally. To whit; The Stag and I have had several conversations centering on the allure of sloppiness in the gentler sex. I refer to it as sloppiness, S. Stag refers to it as insouciance. Whatever the terminology may be, we have been debating whether or not dirty glasses enhance or detract from a girl’s attractiveness–ditto crappy tattoos, athletic socks, weird hair, unkemptness in general. It was clear to me that leg bruising fit into this debate. Thus, I tried to envision a love-type scenario wherein the leg bruising of the female protagonist would function as a metonymy/synecdoche for the entire suite of sloppiness/sexiness that Stag and I were debating and which we Austinites are so familiar with. I hope you enjoy this track, it was made in my Dad’s living room in the beautiful environs of Redondo Beach California. The next track will be composed entirely on my cell-phone in Brazil, more on that later.

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Holy Michael Macdonald

July 27, 2008

The rabbit hole gets deeper. How did we all miss this James Ingram/Michael Macdonald banger “Yah Mo B There” apparently originally titled “Yaweh Be There” (see Youtube comments)? Regardless of whether the title dispute is apocryphal or not, the song is definitely non-denominational and about God.

Reverb Discrimination

July 10, 2008

While I am not an evangelical myself (I am a papist), I do feel for their plight when it comes to lack of representation in reverb settings. Easily found are settings such as “cathedral”, “church”, “large church”, “stone church” and so forth, but I have yet to see a single “megachurch” setting on any reverb plug-in. What gives? Certainly the intricacies of the acoustics of teh modern megachurch are manifold. Someone (not me) should take it upon themselves to model the subtle qualities of a structure which was once a CostCo, but has been converted to a house of worship. What of the reflective qualities of the Dairy Queen in the nave? What of the jumbo sized plasma screen TVs? These large, flat surfaces would undoubtedly reflect the higher frequencies, while the right-angle construction of most big-box stores-cum-megachurches would create sinks detrimental to bass tones. Certainly, the mere bodily presence of over a thousand robust North-American christians will have a marked effect on the timbre of various acoustic guitars, tambourines and fretless basses. Compare for example with the 25 old Mexican women present at the average Catholic mass. Even the service attendance being equal, the mere disparity in corpulence must produce a startling effect. For all secular reverb I use Ambience–I trust their nordic sense of propriety.

Why Sexfizzy Will Win

July 1, 2008

BAHAI FAITH, SON!I have the power of the one name of God. Or is it G-D?

The Archetype

June 29, 2008

Here it is y’all–the ur-spiritually uplifting non-denominational song.

My Sweet Lord

I am too good to y’all.

25 Things That I Thought About Yesterday

June 27, 2008

Here are my nominations for possible challenges:

*pineapple
*refrigerator
*fat girlfriend
*wizard hat
*paternity test
*slovenia
*Bad Brains
*animal husbandry
*subprime mortgage crisis
*the plague
*sendero luminoso
*ailments of the skin
*NAMBLA
*Jesus
*overcoming impossible odds to achieve your dreams
*masturbation
*leg bruising
*cover of any 3rd wave ska song (aquabats, reel big fish, mighty mighty bosstones, etc.)
*dirt
*inspiring, spiritually uplifting song of non-denominational nature (aka a George Harrison song)
*grocery store
*song from organ’s POV (bodily organ)
*explosions
*racist crazy homeless lady
*google

Its bizarre how much overlap there was between my initial list and S. Stag’s.

Mechanics and Lists

June 27, 2008

Just to clarify Sexface’s mumbling, you can vote for your favorite song by sending an email to dudesdudesdudes at that google email service, where your vote will be tabulated by our special team of tabulators. We call them the “Razas” because they’re blank, impartial. The Tabulator Razas.

Ok.

I understand if you vote for Sexface’s jam; it’s already got like 18 plays on my ITunes. He’s still a long way behind Will Oldham and The Fall on the 25 Most Played Songs playlist, but maybe if he really believes in himself and improves his sax chops enough, everyone will like him.

The other thing is that the theme for the song is selected by these same TRs from a list of 50 things to write songs about: 25 from me, 25 from Sex. Here’s my list. Watch yourself.

*bears
*penises, erect
*beaks (the bird part)
*John C. Calhoun
*the crystal fountain
*an upset stomach
*spring
*your first girlfriend (or, at least, it has to be about a girl with her name)
*trains
*merry christmas
*your sister
*nuclear control
*mushrooms
*penises, flaccid
*there are rumors of war in the west
*fishing
*laying one’s body down
*pizza
*torpedoes
*hauling
*sandy beach
*snacks
*a theme song for a television show starring sarah michelle gellar where she is a nurse and a struggling single mom
*drinkin’
*hang out until you die

CHECK IT.

Introduction from Space Stag

June 26, 2008

Hello all. Like the phoenix but more like a snake, the skin of Snackface has been shorn from my body, and I have been reborn (again) into Space Stag.

I have recently returned from Waikiki, where a small conglomerate of like-minded folk and myself formed a shanty band, a shanty band whose shanties sang of the Laplands and the Caucasus, our previous home.

While I may lack the “skill” or “finessing” of Sexface, I think I have heart.

I also had like 3 days to do my first song, so let’s just call it a proof-of-concept. Let’s just say, “Thank you, Bill Callahan!” Let’s just be among friends.